The following list has been compiled through an extensive search of the World Wide Web. They are not my own and I have no intention of representing them as such. Enjoy and remember if you recognize yourself in the "you might be an Aspie" jokes and you don't know if you should laugh or cry, you might be an Aspie.
Please feel free to send me your YMBAAI ideas.
Please feel free to send me your YMBAAI ideas.
A very special thank you to Maddie who sent me her YMBAAI...
You Might Be An Aspie...
if you indicate diary entries by Star-Date.
if you decide whether to push or pull on a door based on the fire code legislation of your municipality, not the label on the door.
if your most hated 5 word phrase is "Don't worry it's close enough" (yes, but it's not correct)
if your life's ambition is to produce "Webster's Dictionary--The Movie".
if you ever went to a Star Trek Convention to look for girls.
if every time the kids played "Cops and Robbers," you were the Alien Ambassador.
if your friends and family refer to conversations with you as "monologues."
if the highlight of your day is someone actually being interested in listening to said monologue, even going so far as to tell you to keep talking.
if the video store clerk has gotten to know you personally because you obsessively rent The Hitcher and The Dead Zone every Friday evening for almost the entire year.
if after four days lost and barefoot in a Florida swamp you hear a rescuer shout your name and you respond, "What?"
if your computer's hard drive is in perfect order but you see no reason for making your bed every day .
if you count your time at the check out counter as social interaction.
if you refuse to wear a shirt because you don't "trust it".
if you wanted to wear a shirt and tie in high school to INCREASE your sex appeal.
if you were a Trekkie before it was cool.
if you think being a Trekkie is cool.
if you get extremely disappointed in yourself if you don't know something when you need to know it because you really "SHOULD" know that.
if you spend hours trying to figure out how someone could find a meaning in your words that was not there.
if you are at a tour at a science museum and can't help correcting your touring guide on matters of quantum mechanics.
if you wear the same clothes for 48 hours straight, to bed and back again.
If you look in the mirror and can't tell if your expression looks like a pout or a smile.
if your 8yr old xmas list could be fulfilled at your local hardware store.
if you hold your breath down the detergent aisle.
if you visit a historical site or museum and know more facts than the guide or curator.
if you have to explain to boys that, no, you aren't trying to steal their girlfriends, just something really interesting happened on the show you both like and you need to explain your in-depth theory what will happen at the end of the season.
if you know how to replace hardware and troubleshoot in your computer, but can’t figure out how to check your voicemail on your cell phone.
if you find talking to yourself enjoyable, actually more enjoyable than talking to other people.
if your pets require more social interaction than you do.
if your pets HAVE more social interaction than you do.
if you only obtain new clothing during Christmas and birthdays.
if your classic book report assignment is rejected because the school board doesn't accept the works of Stan Lee.
if you understand a certain figure of speech because it was explained to you, but you still wonder what kind of person could come up with something like that. (I'm sorry, but I can think of a billion things greater than sliced bread...)
If someone asks "How are you?" and you actually explain your current physical & mental state to them.
if you wonder why people ask you how your day was, but then they walk away before you have finished telling them?
if you see any string of numbers and then automatically analyze all the potential patterns and such in the numbers, at the exclusion of anything else around you.
You might be an Aspie from Northfield, MN, if your high school librarian knew you better than your classmates, and you feel compelled to tell everybody the librarian was Sheila Wellstone. And when meeting non-Minnesotans, you are pleased to spend an hour explaining who she was and why she was historically significant independent of her husband. And then you expect them to assume you must also be important by association, and therefore they should like you and want to be your friend and buy you cupcakes.
if you've ever cited the Dungeons and Dragons Player's Handbook as a historical source in a high school Western Civilization class.
if people ask "What's making everything shake?" And you then realize it's you leg bouncing.
if you've ever translated anything at all into Klingon.
if while discussing with someone, you MUST say what you're thinking even if it has nothing to do with the conversation.
if when you play the Sims computer game even your Sims stay home playing the piano all day and don't socialize much or know any neighbors.
if you have pointed out to a female friend that she has a moustache and then happily carried on talking about all your other observations.
if the biggest help a store assistant can be is to not ask "Can I help you?"
if you got to Farmville level 20 within two days.
if you go to Chapters and notice that three very attractive girls have decided to read in the middle of the section of books you wanted to look at...you are slightly annoyed and wait until they leave to go over there (What the hell is wrong with me?!)
if people online estimate your age decades higher than what it really is.
if you were everyone's first choice for a lab partner, and last choice for the dodgeball team
if you edit a post 6 times just for typos and spelling mistakes because you're paranoid someone will misinterpret what you say.
if you had to redo your report on famous people because the teacher did not know who you picked
if, before baking a cake you read a book on the chemistry of baking to find out what exactly each ingredient does, how they all interact, and exactly what happens at each stage of the baking process.
if you attempt to learn to speed read and find out that was already your standard method.
if you have an aversion to stepping on odd sided polygons on the sidewalk.
if before compiling a play list of your favorite music, you play the songs in your head, sorting them so that the last note of the current song matches up with the first note of the next song. Then once you are satisfied that they “flow” you proceed to only listening to the first minute of the songs.
if you eat all of your vegetables first, then the potato (or starch) and finish off with the meat and never let them touch each other.
if the first time you watched "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" and the cool dude tells the kid when he is on his date to play the 4th song on the first side of "Led Zeppelin IV" and you waited expectantly for "Stairway to Heaven" and instead he plays "Kashmir" from "Physical Graffiti" which is the last track of side two of the first record in the album.
if you're reading this thread on your iPhone while someone is trying to talk to you.
if there are holes in all your clothes where the tags used to be...
if you don't understand how someone could seriously use *all* of the minutes on their cell phone plan in only a month.
if you are bothered when kilograms is used as a unit of weight when you know that it is a unit of mass.
if you have over 100 friends on Facebook that you have never talked to online or in person.
if you can memorize the metal composition of pennies dating back to 1793, but you have a hard time memorizing instructions.
if you know that there are 266 different species of squirrel.
if you have memorized the melting and boiling points of each element on the periodic table.
if you don't understand why people give you odd looks when you bring your own food to a restaurant.
if you have eaten the same breakfast every day for the past decade.
if you try to use exactly 500 words when asked to write a 500 word essay.
if, when you are called an invalid derogatory word you state the literal definition of the word to explain that they are incorrect and possibly explain the history and origin of the word.
if your normal facial expression is your poker face.
if you wonder why everyone's favorite character/actor in films/TV shows is always the one who acts like an Aspie , yet Aspies aren't people's favorite in real life.
if you are an ordained priest, pastor, and reverend in three different religions, and hold a Doctorate in religious studies, yet can't understand how people can believe in God.
if you have a collection of thousands of video taped movies and TV series, all complete, with no commercials, completely indexed, sorted, cataloged and data based with a printed out catalog that can be searched by subject, title, actors and directors, but the catalog never gets used because everyone just asks you and you can tell them which shelf to look on to find which tape, and how far into it that particular episode is.
if you get offended when people say "you think you know everything" because they used the word "think" and are therefore implying that you don't.
if you try out for the football team and insist upon playing 1st base.
if all the songs in your iTunes collection, have all been recorded by the same artists.
if you are annoyed by the inconsistency of the technology in the Star Wars series because of the three prequels that were made later on.
if, on the one hand you think you are the most interesting person you know, but not too many other people are trying to get to know you.
if you have learned to say "why" in several different languages.
if your boss tells you to do something and you can't do it until you know "why", because you are not going to waste your time on doing something that doesn't make sense.
if you refused to let your grown son get rid of his Lego's, because you wanted to have the option of playing with them yourself again.
if your idea of a date is to lie under the stars with your partner of the evening and discuss which of the visible stars will become a black hole the soonest.
if you almost go into a panic when you discover that a picture or other wall-mounted item is hanging 1° off perpendicular, and you feel compelled to straighten it out, even if it's not in your own home.
if you find it easier to remember something reasonable like "acetylsalicylic acid" than some arcane, fancy-shmantz word like "aspirin".
If your neighbors come to your door needing help with their computer at all hours of the night.
If you've ever frequented a fast food restaurant and the waitress asks if "you want the usual?"
if you can carry on a conversation by using nothing but movie quotes or song lyrics.
if you laugh when people say funny things like “Trust me.”
if you still keep your old X-Files VHSs which you recorded as well as the VHS editions which you bought, even though you have the ENTIRE collection on DVD as well– and you shudder every time at someone else’s suggestion that you “Sell those old things!”…
if the thought, "there has to be a pattern to this" is a major theme of your life.
if after reading a "you might be an Aspie" comment that you don't agree with your immediate response is "that is not Aspie".
You Might Be An Aspie...
if you indicate diary entries by Star-Date.
if you decide whether to push or pull on a door based on the fire code legislation of your municipality, not the label on the door.
if your most hated 5 word phrase is "Don't worry it's close enough" (yes, but it's not correct)
if your life's ambition is to produce "Webster's Dictionary--The Movie".
if you ever went to a Star Trek Convention to look for girls.
if every time the kids played "Cops and Robbers," you were the Alien Ambassador.
if your friends and family refer to conversations with you as "monologues."
if the highlight of your day is someone actually being interested in listening to said monologue, even going so far as to tell you to keep talking.
if the video store clerk has gotten to know you personally because you obsessively rent The Hitcher and The Dead Zone every Friday evening for almost the entire year.
if after four days lost and barefoot in a Florida swamp you hear a rescuer shout your name and you respond, "What?"
if your computer's hard drive is in perfect order but you see no reason for making your bed every day .
if you count your time at the check out counter as social interaction.
if you refuse to wear a shirt because you don't "trust it".
if you wanted to wear a shirt and tie in high school to INCREASE your sex appeal.
if you were a Trekkie before it was cool.
if you think being a Trekkie is cool.
if you get extremely disappointed in yourself if you don't know something when you need to know it because you really "SHOULD" know that.
if you spend hours trying to figure out how someone could find a meaning in your words that was not there.
if you are at a tour at a science museum and can't help correcting your touring guide on matters of quantum mechanics.
if you wear the same clothes for 48 hours straight, to bed and back again.
If you look in the mirror and can't tell if your expression looks like a pout or a smile.
if your 8yr old xmas list could be fulfilled at your local hardware store.
if you hold your breath down the detergent aisle.
if you visit a historical site or museum and know more facts than the guide or curator.
if you have to explain to boys that, no, you aren't trying to steal their girlfriends, just something really interesting happened on the show you both like and you need to explain your in-depth theory what will happen at the end of the season.
if you know how to replace hardware and troubleshoot in your computer, but can’t figure out how to check your voicemail on your cell phone.
if you find talking to yourself enjoyable, actually more enjoyable than talking to other people.
if your pets require more social interaction than you do.
if your pets HAVE more social interaction than you do.
if you only obtain new clothing during Christmas and birthdays.
if your classic book report assignment is rejected because the school board doesn't accept the works of Stan Lee.
if you understand a certain figure of speech because it was explained to you, but you still wonder what kind of person could come up with something like that. (I'm sorry, but I can think of a billion things greater than sliced bread...)
If someone asks "How are you?" and you actually explain your current physical & mental state to them.
if you wonder why people ask you how your day was, but then they walk away before you have finished telling them?
if you see any string of numbers and then automatically analyze all the potential patterns and such in the numbers, at the exclusion of anything else around you.
You might be an Aspie from Northfield, MN, if your high school librarian knew you better than your classmates, and you feel compelled to tell everybody the librarian was Sheila Wellstone. And when meeting non-Minnesotans, you are pleased to spend an hour explaining who she was and why she was historically significant independent of her husband. And then you expect them to assume you must also be important by association, and therefore they should like you and want to be your friend and buy you cupcakes.
if you've ever cited the Dungeons and Dragons Player's Handbook as a historical source in a high school Western Civilization class.
if people ask "What's making everything shake?" And you then realize it's you leg bouncing.
if you've ever translated anything at all into Klingon.
if while discussing with someone, you MUST say what you're thinking even if it has nothing to do with the conversation.
if when you play the Sims computer game even your Sims stay home playing the piano all day and don't socialize much or know any neighbors.
if you have pointed out to a female friend that she has a moustache and then happily carried on talking about all your other observations.
if the biggest help a store assistant can be is to not ask "Can I help you?"
if you got to Farmville level 20 within two days.
if you go to Chapters and notice that three very attractive girls have decided to read in the middle of the section of books you wanted to look at...you are slightly annoyed and wait until they leave to go over there (What the hell is wrong with me?!)
if people online estimate your age decades higher than what it really is.
if you were everyone's first choice for a lab partner, and last choice for the dodgeball team
if you edit a post 6 times just for typos and spelling mistakes because you're paranoid someone will misinterpret what you say.
if you had to redo your report on famous people because the teacher did not know who you picked
if, before baking a cake you read a book on the chemistry of baking to find out what exactly each ingredient does, how they all interact, and exactly what happens at each stage of the baking process.
if you attempt to learn to speed read and find out that was already your standard method.
if you have an aversion to stepping on odd sided polygons on the sidewalk.
if before compiling a play list of your favorite music, you play the songs in your head, sorting them so that the last note of the current song matches up with the first note of the next song. Then once you are satisfied that they “flow” you proceed to only listening to the first minute of the songs.
if you eat all of your vegetables first, then the potato (or starch) and finish off with the meat and never let them touch each other.
if the first time you watched "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" and the cool dude tells the kid when he is on his date to play the 4th song on the first side of "Led Zeppelin IV" and you waited expectantly for "Stairway to Heaven" and instead he plays "Kashmir" from "Physical Graffiti" which is the last track of side two of the first record in the album.
if you're reading this thread on your iPhone while someone is trying to talk to you.
if there are holes in all your clothes where the tags used to be...
if you don't understand how someone could seriously use *all* of the minutes on their cell phone plan in only a month.
if you are bothered when kilograms is used as a unit of weight when you know that it is a unit of mass.
if you have over 100 friends on Facebook that you have never talked to online or in person.
if you can memorize the metal composition of pennies dating back to 1793, but you have a hard time memorizing instructions.
if you know that there are 266 different species of squirrel.
if you have memorized the melting and boiling points of each element on the periodic table.
if you don't understand why people give you odd looks when you bring your own food to a restaurant.
if you have eaten the same breakfast every day for the past decade.
if you try to use exactly 500 words when asked to write a 500 word essay.
if, when you are called an invalid derogatory word you state the literal definition of the word to explain that they are incorrect and possibly explain the history and origin of the word.
if your normal facial expression is your poker face.
if you wonder why everyone's favorite character/actor in films/TV shows is always the one who acts like an Aspie , yet Aspies aren't people's favorite in real life.
if you are an ordained priest, pastor, and reverend in three different religions, and hold a Doctorate in religious studies, yet can't understand how people can believe in God.
if you have a collection of thousands of video taped movies and TV series, all complete, with no commercials, completely indexed, sorted, cataloged and data based with a printed out catalog that can be searched by subject, title, actors and directors, but the catalog never gets used because everyone just asks you and you can tell them which shelf to look on to find which tape, and how far into it that particular episode is.
if you get offended when people say "you think you know everything" because they used the word "think" and are therefore implying that you don't.
if you try out for the football team and insist upon playing 1st base.
if all the songs in your iTunes collection, have all been recorded by the same artists.
if you are annoyed by the inconsistency of the technology in the Star Wars series because of the three prequels that were made later on.
if, on the one hand you think you are the most interesting person you know, but not too many other people are trying to get to know you.
if you have learned to say "why" in several different languages.
if your boss tells you to do something and you can't do it until you know "why", because you are not going to waste your time on doing something that doesn't make sense.
if you refused to let your grown son get rid of his Lego's, because you wanted to have the option of playing with them yourself again.
if your idea of a date is to lie under the stars with your partner of the evening and discuss which of the visible stars will become a black hole the soonest.
if you almost go into a panic when you discover that a picture or other wall-mounted item is hanging 1° off perpendicular, and you feel compelled to straighten it out, even if it's not in your own home.
if you find it easier to remember something reasonable like "acetylsalicylic acid" than some arcane, fancy-shmantz word like "aspirin".
If your neighbors come to your door needing help with their computer at all hours of the night.
If you've ever frequented a fast food restaurant and the waitress asks if "you want the usual?"
if you can carry on a conversation by using nothing but movie quotes or song lyrics.
if you laugh when people say funny things like “Trust me.”
if you still keep your old X-Files VHSs which you recorded as well as the VHS editions which you bought, even though you have the ENTIRE collection on DVD as well– and you shudder every time at someone else’s suggestion that you “Sell those old things!”…
if the thought, "there has to be a pattern to this" is a major theme of your life.
if after reading a "you might be an Aspie" comment that you don't agree with your immediate response is "that is not Aspie".
